


have my back

by skinnyflowers



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Drinking Games, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta, Minor Nakamoto Yuta/Seo Youngho | Johnny, One Shot, Pining, Short One Shot, Songfic, Underage Drinking, it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift, yeehaw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 07:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20422061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinnyflowers/pseuds/skinnyflowers
Summary: Hi! this is the first fic i'm posting on here and also my first completed kpop fic, yeehaw! Just a short os I wrote in one night, nothing long or complex, it's trash ik.It's based on Taylor Swift's song "it's nice to have a friend" from her latest album, i definitely recomend you listen to it while reading.Before you start reading please keep in mind that english isn't my first language, so there will be mistakes, please tell me if you find any because it'd help me improve ♡ That's it, enjoy! Don't forget to leave kudos and maybe a comment? yea that'd be lovely ♡





	have my back

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! this is the first fic i'm posting on here and also my first completed kpop fic, yeehaw! Just a short os I wrote in one night, nothing long or complex, it's trash ik.
> 
> It's based on Taylor Swift's song "it's nice to have a friend" from her latest album, i definitely recomend you listen to it while reading.
> 
> Before you start reading please keep in mind that english isn't my first language, so there will be mistakes, please tell me if you find any because it'd help me improve ♡ That's it, enjoy! Don't forget to leave kudos and maybe a comment? yea that'd be lovely ♡

He remembers the first time he walked home with Doyoung. It was winter, a few weeks before Christmas break, the chalk on the sidewalk fading and starting to be covered by a thin coat of snow.

Yuta was crying, eyes like an overflowing river, the weather was so cold, almost below zero, he felt like his tears could froze and turn to ice right on his face. He’d always been an emotional kid, but that day had been too much, some kids made fun of him because he couldn’t speak korean as well as the others. They made him feel left out.

Doyoung had always been a rather shy child, but he stood up for him, and if it wasn’t for the teacher who scolded them, he would’ve fought them for Yuta.

“Taeyong and his friends are always mean with everyone, don’t worry.” he said, round glasses starting to fall off his nose when he scrunched it, he kinda looked like a bunny. “I live near here, do you want to hang out?”

And so, Yuta agreed and walked the six blocks to Doyoung’s house and spent the whole afternoon eating snacks, watching tv and playing silly games until he remembered he actually had a house he had to go to. His mom scolded him, but he didn’t care. It was nice to have a friend.

Six winters went by, endless afternoons spent playing in the snow then going back inside when it got too dark, drinking hot chocolate and watching christmas movies beside the fireplace.

Now the season was spring, almost summer. Sunrise coming up, pastel pink sky that matched Doyoung’s soft lavender hair. Taeil’s birthday party going on downstairs, but they never were the party type, so when it got too much they went away and now they were up on the roof, where nobody could pop their own little bubble. Drunk of cheap booze, anything was better than staying sober.

They were still silly boys who played silly games, they still shared their secrets out loud with eachother. Their own twenty questions,

“Mom never forced me to study Japanese, you know?” Doyoung said nonchalantly, while taking a sip of his plastic cup. It was bitten on the edges, sometimes Yuta wondered if Doyoung had been an actual bunny in his past life. “I learnt because I wanted to be your friend and I didn’t want you to feel left out”

Doyoung had said it as if it was no big deal, but it was. It was a lot, actually. Yuta almost teared up. They were just kids, what kid wants to spend their time learning a new language? Why did he, when he could’ve left him or wait until he learnt how to speak korean properly?

Yuta smiled. Doyoung didn’t look back at him. Loud teenagers, bass boosting through the windows, screams coming from inside. It was alright, everything was fine. He had everything he needed right there: cheap drinks, nice weather, a beautiful sky and Doyoung by his side. He wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

Sudden cold. He looked down and saw Doyoung’s hand over his. He bit the inside of his cheek. Fingers playing with each other, his friend’s head falling over his shoulder.

“I don’t know why you started to use contacts, you looked good with your glasses” Yuta tried not to sound too nervous while saying that but failed terribly when Doyoung started to caress his hand.

“Jae said I looked better without them” he commented with his eyes closed, slowly starting to drift into sleep, when he felt Yuta’s subtle groan, he added “but you know, i didn’t do it for him, i felt like i needed to change my appearance a little”.

He rolled his eyes but didn’t add anything. Doyoung realised and lifted his head off his shoulder and his hand moved away from his. His heart dropped a little, he would’ve begged him to put it right back, but it would be weird.

“Hey” Doyoung called softly, poking his cheek and flashing him a toothy smile.

Yuta gave him a half smile, as long as he was happy, everything would be fine.

Months went by and now they were seniors, time took its revenge on them. He hadn’t known much about Doyoung, he was either studying non stop or spending time with Jaehyun and their asshole friends, Taeyong’s clique.

However, it wasn’t Doyoung’s fault, Yuta had also been too caught up with work, school and applications. It was a difficult year.

“Johnny’s throwing this big ass Halloween party on Friday, you should come” Mark was sitting in front of him on the library, big curious eyes looking at him.

“I have stuff to do." Yuta didn’t look up from his notes, he could feel Hyuck’s eyes rolling beside him

“You’ve been studying and writing for weeks now, can you chill? It’s just school.”

“Yeah, he’s right” Mark added shyly. “You literally spent your birthday writing an essay while watching anime."

“And you look gross-pale” the youngest added, inspecting Yuta’s face with a disgusted expression. “Besides, we all need to get laid or something. Maybe get you a vampire so your snowhite ass doesn’t stand out too much”.

He had no choice, his friends took him out to choose his costume. He would’ve dressed up as a trash can if could, but they pushed him to get something more “spicy”.

“You should be a police officer” suggested Mark, looking at him as if he was a Project Runway jury.

“Oh that would be really fitting, he’s got that squareness in him”

Yuta rolled his eyes at them.

“You know what?” Hyuck added, clicking his tongue as he changed his mind. “You should go as something really basic- as you’re such a basic sad boy- like the devil or something”

“Yeah, you have the red hair and everything”

“And also the attitude, Mr. Everyone Annoys Me.”

And so,the night came and they were getting ready. Well, Mark and Donghyuck were because he didn’t had much to do. They came out dressed up as Pikachu and Ash, having fought that same afternoon about who’d be who. They looked cute like that but he wouldn’t dare to tell them anything nice, it would be the beginning of the end of his dignity.

Yuta didn’t want to go to the party, he really didn’t and tried to avoid it until the last minute. But there was no going back, they were right in front of the door. House almost jumping with the music. He wasn’t getting credit for this.

As soon as they went in, a very drunk Johnny greeted them, eyeing him up and down. There was a thing going on with Johnny lately, he caught him looking at his lips when they talked even if it was for less than five minutes. He was the nicest one out of Taeyong’s special jerks squad, applied as class president a few times. But Yuta avoided him anyway and went straight to the kitchen where the drinks were waiting for him.

Apparently, Johnny had other plans.

“Hey little devil”

Yuta was facing some hard second hand embarassment when he saw Johnny making his way towards the kitchen counter he was seating on. He smiled regardless, Johnny wasn’t a bad guy, just annoying and a little dense at times. But he was fun and hot, even more dressed up as the fucking Kellogg’s cat, was it Tony? That one.

He decided to give in, what’s the worst that could happen? Johnny had a big reputation involving his abilities in bed, he had to prove it himself. So he let the older stand in between his legs and took his cup, “‘mnot little” he whined while taking a sip “it isn’t my fault that you’re a fucking giant, you know?”

Johnny laughed and put his hands on his waist, “Wanna know what else is fucking giant?”

The red haired couldn’t help it, he just bursted out laughing. “Johnny Suh, you’re so lame at flirting, you’re lucky you have a reputation built around you”

Johnny wasn’t the type to take something like that as an insult, he was really easygoing and truly fun, so he laughed with him. Their faces were closer than before, Yuta had his hands in his hair and was about to take the next step until he saw him. An angel, literally, two big white wings floating through the poorly lighted do-it-yourself dance floor. He thought he was hallucinating until he remembered that next to the devil costume, the angel one was one of the most popular ones, although he only saw one more devil besides him.

“Excuse me, kitty” Yuta pecked at his lips and went on the chase.

Jaehyun and Taeyong were playing beer pong with a very bored Doyoung by their side. It had been a long while since he last saw him, they didn’t even text each other, he had lost a little weight. It worried him, was he looking after himself? Had Jaehyun been taking care of him? It didn’t seem like it, Doyoung didn’t look as cheerful as always, his smile and the special glint in his eyes were not there. But he was a little drunk, he was thinking too much. So he tried not to.

“Hey angel” he said, coming from behind to wrap his arms around his Doyoung’s waist. It startled him at first, but as soon as he recognised him his whole body relaxed and almost melted in Yuta’s arms. The latter pressed a kiss on his cheek, feeling Jaehyun’s eyes pierce right through him.

“Hi satan” he could see Doyoung’s nervous smile from behind.

He was about to suggest they went up until Taeyong, dressed up as god knows what kind of police officer with no shirt on, interrupted, walking towards them:

“Hey man, look who’s here. The Devil Himself,” he flashed him a smile, Yuta knew there wasn’t any kind of malice in his words but still he didn’t like him. Taeyong directed his eyes to Jaehyun and asked him, “he looks hot, doesn’t he? Look at that eyeliner”

Was Taeyong actually complimenting him? Almost flirting with him?

He kept on hugging Doyoung from behind, his chin pressed to his shoulder while he watched how Jaehyun was trying to kill him with his eyes. He wanted to laugh.

“Cool costume, bro” he commented trying not to laugh at his strip club fireman set, loud enough so he could hear. “Really matches Doie’s outfit”

A quite loud cheering could be heard, Jaehyun went red and Yuta laughed it off. Fortunately, Taeil came back from wherever he was and brought drinks. He looked cute in his mailman costume.

“Taeeeeeil, my man” Yukhei said from the couch near the ping-pong table “Time to deliver de Maeil with Taeiiiil”

Everyone laughed, but Yuta was getting bored and tried to look for his friends in the crowd, only to find them making out on a couch nearby. Ew.

“So, how’d you been? You look weird” Yuta whispered on Doyoung’s ear, he wasn’t doing this for show, he just felt like it but knew Jaehyun was starting to get annoyed.

“Uhm, well, studying” he answered, he was so quiet Yuta almost didn’t hear him above the noise “I missed you." 

Yuta’s heart raced, he hoped Doyoung hadn’t felt that.

“Yeah? Me too, angel” he squeezed him a little in his arms, he smelled a little like alcohol, but his typical sweet perfume was still there. He loved how his perfume and natural scent took him back in time and reminded him of their childhood, it was a mixture of candy, fruity soap and clean sheets. It was quite lovely that a pubescent eighteen year old boy could smell so nice. He felt at home.

They were swinging slowly, not caring about the upbeat song that was playing. He knew he was taking it too far, but he couldn’t stop. Doyoung was in his arms, they missed each other. Yuta had kinda come to terms with the fact that he liked him a little bit more than you’re supposed to like your friends.

“Wanna go somewhere else?” Doyoung suggested “You are crushing my wings."

“Sure, anywhere you want."

He was about to let his wrist be pulled by Doyoung when Jaehyun blocked their way. Yuta rolled his eyes at him.

“Are you leaving, babe?” he asked tenderly, looking at Doyoung. He told him they were going for some drinks. “Oh alright, thought you were going to tell him now."

He could see how Doyoung’s whole body tensed up. Yuta got rigid all of sudden.

“Tell me what?”

He looked at Doyoung then at Jaehyun, then back at Doyoung, pretty colored lights coloring his now pale face.

“Didn’t he tell you?” Jaehyun acted surprised, covering his mouth with his hands, Doyoung looked pissed off. “Oh my god, I spoiled everything” he tried so hard to look worried that he ended coming up as a the prick he was “Thought you were going to be the first one to know, but seems like you’re the last. Doyoung’s going to England for an internship next month”

The whole world fell over Yuta’s head as Doyoung angrily told Jaehyun to _“Move aside and fuck off”_ and pulled him by the wrist. Up they went, straight and then to the left.

“I’m sorry” was the first thing that came out of Doyoung’s mouth. Yuta didn’t answer, he couldn’t. “I’m sorry, I truly am. I couldn’t tell you, we weren’t talking and I couldn't find time to go and tell you”

He could’ve thrown everything on his face and blame him, resent him and say something about how he didn’t hesitate about spending time with his boyfriend’s asshole friends, but he wasn’t that kind of person and Doyoung was crying, not dramatically, just a few tears but they were enough for Yuta’s heart to break a little. He was mad, of course, but his best friend was crying and that was his priority.

“It’s alright” he said, pulling him into a hug, trying not to keep crushing his wings. He wouldn’t tell him anything, he wouldn’t ask questions or try to make him stay, or else he would be literally crushing his wings. “It’s alright, angel."

But it wasn’t alright. He wasn’t okay. Doyoung had promised him he’d be the first to know everything, but now his new friends knew everything, and Yuta wondered if it was possible to feel so close yet so far away from someone at the same time. He already missed Doyoung, and he wasn’t even gone.

Yuta had been avoiding everyone since Halloween. Mark and Donghyuck passed by, knocked on the door and asked for him, he pretended to be asleep. He didn’t feel guilty, he was sad and they knew.

Doyoung had called, almost a hundred times a day, Yuta let it ring. He knew he should pick up, there wasn’t much time left, but he couldn’t get himself to do it.

One night he stopped receiving calls. It was messages, lots of them.

_**From: Doie**_   
**[02:34 A.M] **

please come to ten’s party next friday.

**[02:35 A.M] **

i know you're angry and probably hate me

**[02:36 A.M] **

and this is selfish, but i don’t want my goodbye party to happen without you.

**[02:37 A.M]**

i know you are awake, i can see ur fairy lights from here.

**[02:38 A.M] **

please stop blasting naruto openings like sad hoe anthems.

Yuta smiled a little, but then started to cry again. He’d miss him a lot. He still couldn’t get over the fact that everyone knew before him. He felt left out, forgotten, he felt like he stopped being important to his best friend. He tried to sleep it off.

**_ From: Doie_ **   
**[15:46 P.M] **

today’s the party, i’ll be waiting for u. love u.

**[15:47 P.M] **

i don’t like to beg, but u deserve it. please have my back, i can’t stand them all on my own.

They were only eleven when Yuta asked Doyoung if he’d have his back forever and his answer was a simple _“Everyday, everywhere”_. He was a sweet kid, he seemed cold and detached, but he was the most caring and lovely person he knew. Yuta would be damned if he broke a promise he had with Doyoung, he wouldn’t dare let him down.

Honestly, he looked like shit. But a hot kind of shit. Like he was about to die, with his eyes all swallowed and purple under his eyes from crying and losing sleep over anime, but hot. He pulled the dying boy look quite nicely, if you ask him.

Taking a last look at the mirror while tucking his white shirt on his black jeans then throwing a leather jacket over his shoulders —Donghyuck would’ve told him he was a basic ass bitch with poor fashion sense and an important lack of creativity, but he’d rather call it looking good on anything—, he made his way to Ten’s frat house.

This was nothing like anything Doyoung would’ve liked or choose for a goodbye party. This was all Jaehyun and his selfish ass throwing a party just for the sake of it while saying it was “Doyoung’s goodbye party”. He wanted to punch him, he would if he had the opportunity.

And there was John again, and Taeyong beside him, all smiles and flirty greetings. If his deplorable state was visible, they didn’t say anything. Yuta tried to avoid conversation, he wasn’t in the mood to get flirty, instead he blew a kiss at them and kept on looking for his friend.

“What a flirt,” his soft but still strong voice came from behind his back “never thought you’d have Taeyong thirsting over you.” Now he was the one wrapped in the other’s arms, leaning on him.

“It’s my charm,” he joked, trying to relax a little “eighteen hitted amazingly”

“Yeah, blasting Naruto at 2 A.M.” Yuta rolled his eyes while taking a sip from a cup he picked up on the way, never leaving Doyoung’s arms. “So you came here for the alcohol, I suspected-”

Suddenly, the music stopped and Ten’s high pitched voice came from up the stairs. _Oh no_, Yuta thought, when he suggested they all played seven minutes in heaven. He couldn’t escape, he was right beside or better, all over the guest of honor, back pressed to his chest, arms around his waist. He felt Jaehyun trying to kill him once again.

Not a lot of people gathered around to play, he prayed for Mark and Donghyuck to notice him and drag him out of this but it didn’t seem like a possibility, they were too busy making out in the garden. The air was tense, at least he felt it heavily over his shoulders. Jaehyun pushed him to sit right beside his boyfriend and now he was in front of a really bored and tense Doyoung, looking at him as if he was pleading for him to take him out of this mess.

It started with Yukhei and Taeyong, nothing interesting, they didn’t know each other that well. But then it started to get better, one would say, not Yuta. He had to go into the closet with Jaehyun, _great_.

They were in front of each other, the small closet pushing them closer than they wish they were. Jaehyun looked like he could strangle him right there. A few minutes passed.

“I know you like him.”

Yuta laughed, everyone knew, or at least imagined he did. Except Doyoung, he wasn’t sure.

“Do you think he likes me?”

Jaehyun’s lip quivered.

“He broke up with me.”

Yuta couldn’t help but laugh. “And you’re still trying to sit beside him?” The other just stared at him, Yuta guessed if he wanted to kill him, he’d already done it, so he went for it. “Look, I don’t have much dignity, but you have none."

“He said we wouldn’t be able to keep a healthy relationship if we were away from each other.”

The red haired nodded, “So you are blaming it on me?”

A loud knock came from the other side, and Yukhei’s thunderous voice told them to _“stop making out, homosexuals”_.

“Yeah, we had an _intense_ make out session in there”. He smiled at Doyoung when he came out, the other looked frightened.

He extended his hand to lift him up from the floor, the others tried to protest, but they ignored them. Pass the kitchen, pick up some drinks, up the stairs, turn right, go straight.

The sky was a soft pink, a little bit of purple here and there. Weather was nice, a little chilly, but it was okay. Doyoung’s hair now was black, he looked more mature, his factions were still soft and _bunny-ish_. He looked angry, furrowed brows, scrunched nose and glassy eyes.

“You look like a bunny,” Yuta blurted out, he wasn’t thinking, just felt like telling him. “An angry bunny.”

Doyoung turned to him, he didn’t smile, just a little broken grin, he had failed terribly. “I’m sorry” he whispered, looking back at the sky.

Yuta put his head on his shoulder and told him it was alright. There was nothing to worry about. He forgot about everything for a hot minute, then Doyoung touched his hand and explained himself, without Yuta asking him to. He just listened, and understood.

“But I’ll miss you” he said, almost sobbing, Yuta caressed the back of his hand. “We lost so much time."

“We didn’t lose anything, it’s just for a while” he said as calmed as he could, but his heart broke every time he thought about all the possibilities.

He would just go, work a little and study there for three months, then come back and everything would go back to the way it was. They’d crash at each other’s dorms, eat greasy food, watch silly dramas and fall asleep on the couch, like they used to do not too long ago. But he also could go there, meet someone else and decide to start a new life there, leave behind everyone and everything he had in this city. Yuta knew it was the worse case scenario, but he also knew it wasn’t impossible, it was really likely to happen. But he didn’t say anything.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” he offered with a smile, Doyoung relaxing at this.”It’s just for three months. Then you’ll come back and everything will be the same. I’ll still be here.”

“It’s nice to have a friend like you.”

It was nice to have a friend like Doyoung, too. He reached and pecked at his cheek. Party long forgotten inside, all the screaming and laughing muffled. They were in their bubble again, their little world, their unbreakable heaven.

They stayed there on the roof, waiting for the pink-ish night to end. Drunk of a little better quality booze, dreaming together and reminiscing their first walk home.

Yuta wondered if someday he’d be able to carry Doyoung to their own house, to build a home and spend their weekends in bed. Never daring to say it out loud, the timing wasn’t right, not yet.

Breaking the silence, Doyoung cleared his throat and looked at him in the eyes. Yuta waited patiently for him to say something, Doyoung knew it was obvious, already stated some hours ago, but he felt the need to ask if he’d wait for him.

_“Everyday.”_

**Author's Note:**

> any comments? did you like it? was it good? 
> 
> follow me on tw: bluescide  
and cc: yutarado


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